From: University of Pennsylvania LPS
"The hallmarks of academic writing include the use of the third-person point of view, a logical flow, an emphasis on facts and ideas, and an authoritative, formal tone. This writing style is objective, avoids casual language and slang, offers insightful analysis, and includes citations for research backed by reliable sources such as scientific studies or journal articles. While students and professors routinely use academic writing, scientists also use it to describe their research findings, as do literary critics. There are four distinct types of this formal writing style: descriptive, analytical, persuasive, and critical."
Your thesis statement seeks to answer your (polished and refined) research question, so the quality of the former depends upon the quality of the latter. This means that many of the criteria for evaluating your question also apply to your thesis statement. For example, your thesis, like your question, should be: interesting, relevant, and appropriate to the scope of your assignment.
However, here are some additional criteria for evaluating your thesis:
Once you have asked a question, listened to the answer, and engaged fruitfully with that answer, you are ready to express your own position. You have probably met that person who asks a question and then answers it himself, or puts words in your mouth, or assumes he knows what you think before giving you a chance to respond. This kind of rude behavior can extend to the research process as well; you might not ask a question at all and just start by expressing your own opinions, or you might ask a question but then ignore the answer, or you might listen to the answer but then fail to make sure you understand it, or you might understand and engage with it but then fail to respond clearly in a way that moves the conversation forward. It is imperative that you wait to establish your own position until you are certain you have all the pieces you need and have comprehended them. Nobody wants to be the unintentional buffoon at the dinner table.
Here is an excerpt from Michael Kibbe's excellent book, From Topic to Thesis: A Guide to Theological Research, which addresses this idea.
KEYS TO ESTABLISHING POSITION
First, your thesis is the heart and soul of your paper. Every single word, phrase, and paragraph in your paper should contribute to your thesis. If something in your paper doesn't contribute to your thesis, cut it out. Be ruthless! If you're concerned about being able to meet the minimum length requirement for your paper, you need to do more research. A well-researched paper will always struggle to stay under the maximum rather than over the minimum.
Several years ago, my boss sent me out to do some tree trimming. His basic guideline: talk to the tree. Tell it which direction you want it to grow and which direction you don't. If a branch is going the wrong direction, cut it off. Big or small, healthy or sick, pretty or hideous, if it's not going where you want it to go, get rid of it. Think of your paper as a tree, and your thesis as your chosen direction. If a paragraph or illustration or argument or word doesn't take your paper where you want it to go (as defined by your thesis), get rid of it. Your paper must offer a position. You are arguing, not merely informing.
Second, don't start writing your paper too soon. You may want to take notes, construct individual arguments or draw diagrams and charts. Remember, though, that if you write your paper before you have a thesis, you'll have to rewrite it. And if you write your thesis before you do your research, you won't be able to support it. The best way for you to end up with a paper that revolves around a well-supported thesis is to (1) let your research mold your thesis and (2) let your thesis mold your paper.
Third, your research paper should enter into an already-existing conversation about your chosen topic. Remember that a research paper is not you thinking in a vacuum. This, your paper needs to demonstrate three things: that you are aware of the conversation, that you understand the conversation and that you can participate in that conversation.
Fourth, don't be afraid to ask for help! Some professors will give you a chance to hand in your paper early for feedback to help you prepare the final draft. The teaching assistant for your class may be available to help you find sources, construct arguments or deal with other issues. Your librarian will also be able to assist you in locating sources and using online databases. If you are new to writing academic papers and feel overwhelmed by the task in front of you, your school may have a writing center with editors available to look at your paper or sit down with you and talk through it.
Let's work through some example thesis statements:
Example 1 (from Indiana University's writing guides)
"More attention should be paid to children's food and beverage choices."
While this statement does take a stand and is presenting one main idea, its wording is pretty vague, and it doesn't identify any support.
"Experts estimate that half of elementary school children consume more than nine times the recommended daily allowance of sugar."
This statement is specific, and it does express one idea and refer to experts as support; however, it isn't a real thesis statement because it doesn't take a stand. It's just stating a fact.
"Since experts estimate that half of elementary school children consume more than nine times the recommended daily allowance of sugar, schools should be required to replace soda in vending machines with healthier options."
This statement hits all our criteria and makes for a solid thesis statement.
Example 2
"Balrogs don't have wings."
This statement does take a stand and present one idea, and it is pretty focused and specific; however, not only does it fail to pull in support, it also fails in an area we discussed with research questions: relevance. There may be a very niche group of Tolkien nerds who would enthusiastically debate this question, but unless that group is your primary audience, it is safe to assume that your reader will not care and will consider it a fluff topic.
"Tolkien originally conceived of Balrogs as man-shaped."
Not only is this statement irrelevant, but now it fails to even take a stand.
"Tolkien’s portrayal of Balrogs gradually morphed throughout his work, as can be seen in Morgoth’s Ring, The Silmarillion, and The Fellowship of the Ring. This shift in appearance and character provides valuable insight into Tolkien’s perception of evil."
We have now related the question of Balrogs to a larger view of Tolkien's metaphysics. Thus, this statement's relevance is much improved. It also refers to support from three primary texts. It is now a workable thesis.
Example 3 (from NSA alumna Melissa Dow)
"There is a lot of planetary imagery in Hamlet."
This statement takes no stand, is fairly vague, and refers to no support.
"The planetary imagery in Hamlet reveals something about why it is a tragedy."
This statement does take a stand, but it is still too vague and refers to no support.
"Because six of the seven medieval planets are associated with major characters in Hamlet, Shakespeare must have left the seventh out deliberately. In fact, the absence of Jove, which was the planet associated with mirth, kingliness, and wisdom, is the reason why Hamlet is a tragedy."
Seriously, who wouldn't want to read that paper?
From Aims Community College:
"A personal essay is a broad essay that often incorporates a variety of writing styles. Most personal essay assignments ask the writer to write about an important person, event, or time period in his/her life. The goal here is to narrate this event or situation in way that the reader can fully experience and understand. This type of writing generally incorporates both narrative and descriptive writing, which are two of the main modes in writing."
From Aims Community College:
Focus on detail – The writer’s job is to show, not tell, what happened. Be sure to use plenty of detail to make this happen and avoid over relying on adjectives; strong verbs are often better. In other words, don’t tell the reader that the sunset was breathtaking, describe it.
Incorporate sensory detail - When describing a particular event, most writers focus on how a place or situation appeared. This is because most of us tend to be sight-dominant when using our senses. However, the reader can be brought further into the essay by incorporating a variety of senses: sound, smell, touch, taste, in addition to sight.
Connect the event/person/place to a larger idea - As you are describing this event, person, place, etc., don’t lose focus on the main idea: how the event changed you. This is the thesis of your personal essay, and it is important that you demonstrate how the details come together to create this thesis. Don’t get so caught up in narrating the actual event that you forget to also go into detail on the importance of it.
Be careful with verb tense – As you are shifting from the event itself, which occurred in the past, and how it has continued to impact your life, be sure to use the appropriate verb tense and keep it consistent. Some writers will describe a past event in present tense, hoping to make the reader feel more involved; this can be done, but doing it well involves great writing skill; no matter what, be sure to keep the verb tense consistent. When in doubt, stick with past tense for the actual event (s) and present tense to discuss the change (s).
Our worthy professors have been around the block a time or two. Here's some of their sage advice for writing great research papers.
Citation generators can assist you in creating notes and bibliographies, however they must be used with great care since they do not always accurately cite sources. Always double check citations from your generator with the CMOS Style Guide and course specific requirements.
